The Issues Between What You Control and… What You Don’t.
A big issue that many leaders wrestle with: what is under my control and what is out of my control?
Much of The Inevitable You® Coaching System work is based on how something is “framed.” Oftentimes, people will frame an issue or a question that makes it much more difficult to succeed. A Leader’s job is to search for the best framing and that drives a better solution to the problem. Therefore, is there a better way to look at “control” and “not-control?”
Because when you look at the challenge “I control this” (and really, what is “this?” The things that drive us crazy because we feel powerless are not in our control and we know it, yet we will record that we can – until it all blows up.) and for the: “I don’t control that” issues (and, you really don’t control much in your life, your team, your business models, or anything, really.) The Leader arrives at both a personal dilemma – they wish to control more, and they work hard at that – and a leadership dilemma: what do you tell your developing leaders? What do you tell the team mates?
And if you are above average, you are better at controlling more than your peers! So that’s pretty good for the bulk of you, is it not? And you have been even taught a more insidious command: there are things you control and there are more things that you can influence, right? And to the extent, in this frame, that is correct, it is.
However, when you apply The Inevitable You® NLP tools, you get a different and better result. Here is the key framing difference: The System does not judge nor negatively impact you. It has given you the laws and rules. The issue is not “I can/cannot control the System”… The issue is “I control me!” “I control the rules and laws the System gave me!” Then, the System responds perfectly to its laws and rules!”
What does this mean?
For example, you have a personnel challenge: they should be better and there seems to be an internal psychological issue. You think, “I can’t control them. I can’t make them perform.” Or, you try even harder; you incent them with pain or pleasure hoping for a different result. They may or may not budge. Under the new The Inevitable You® Framing tool, this is a better sequence of control:
• I control me.
• I control how I show up.
• I put extraordinary EQ inspiration in what I do.
• I WILL find the hook that inspires them, too.
• They will respond to my leadership!
Can you see and feel this crucial difference? It’s a game changer!
If you wish to comment or write or call me, I look forward to your feedback!